Appliance serial killer

16 Aug

I have declared my blender dead. I am sad, but it’s time to come to terms with the facts. The sooner I mourn, the sooner I can move on to a new blender.

It appears, however, that I may be to blame — not only that, but I may be out of control. This morning, the coffee pot at work decided not to function. I spent an hour troubleshooting to no avail, searched for the manual, and then texted a colleague who is out of the office today.

Ahhh! What if she’s right? What if I’m on a killing spree without even realizing it?! And I’m a vegetarian. 😦 So now I suspect I’m like the Wolfman, except that instead of, you know, turning into a wolf during the full moon and doing unspeakable acts I cannot remember, I am blacking out perhaps at night and destroying my favorite appliances with no memory. I MUST BE STOPPED.

Hide your food processors. Hide your toasters. I’m on the loose.

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