By the time I get married next week (!!), I will have had a five-week engagement, which is very, very short, obviously. But, then, so am I, so it only makes sense.
Anyway, I quickly dove into the world of wedding planning sites (and quickly got overwhelmed, then scared). One theme I’ve noticed pretty strongly is that brides want to lose weight. Not only do they want to, but they expect to and go so far as to plan their attire around the new weight they expect to hit. I can understand the draw, especially with the strapless dresses most want to rock on their big days. If you’re overweight and your wedding day is the motivation you need to get into a healthy routine, then I applaud you.
However, the obsession with bridal body image frankly disturbs me. My wedding day is supposed to be a celebration of the love I share with my fiancé. It is an opportunity to gather our closest family in our new home for a happy occasion. It’s also a time to help us outfit our kitchen. (I tease on the last one.) It is not a time to scrutinize my arms or my hips. It’s not a time to be on display. It’s a time to laugh and cry and hug and make joyful new memories. Yes, there will be a photographer, but his lens will be focusing on our smiles and tears, not our saddlebags.
Fact: I am currently about five pounds heavier than normal, which is in turn five pounds heavier than my ideal weight. I want to lose that full 10 pounds by eating well and getting back to the gym.
That said, I have decided not to lose an ounce for my wedding. Why? For all the things I said about what a wedding is. A wedding isn’t a pageant. It isn’t a modeling competition. It is a celebration of love and happiness. It is the last day on which I should be worried about whether or not anyone is judging me. If they are, then they can take a hike (but leave the blender, please).
It’s also for my sanity. Theoretically, I could lose those five extra pounds in five weeks, but at what reward? There is no chance I won’t feel radiant on my wedding day. How could I not, when I’m surrounded by the people I love most in the world, including the man who is going to promise to love me for the rest of my life? Losing five pounds or 50 doesn’t increase or decrease the love in your life. Obsessing over weight loss (something at which, frankly, most people fail) will not make your wedding day better.
I spend so much of my daily life thinking and worrying about my weight that I want my wedding to be a break from it, a day on which I’m grateful to be exactly the way I am.
It goes without saying that this is all just my opinion, and maybe your experience is totally different, but I wanted to give voice to another perspective.